I did something drastic to myself which I never believed I would have 3 years back, when I restricted myself and my loved ones from doing so for reasons I can't fathom. Now I'm biting myself in the arse.
learning through life's potholes
Xmas is here!
I guess its been an alright weekend xmas. Possibly the best so far I suppose. For the first time in my life, have I ever received so many presents from strangers and people I've hardly known for a month. Yup, 8 presents and counting, those 8 from my nice colleagues from the B and C team! Thanks to David, Eric, Yvonne, Sherrie, Bernadette, Alicia, Phoebe, Tracy, Thiam Chye, Siew Cheng n' Adeline! Haiz..somehow I dont really wanna leave the team come February, and its quite bad that I didn't give them any gifts at all! My farewell gift better be good...
Anyways today was s73 class gathering at LJ's house. Apparently yw went too. Was feeling quite apprehensive towards going..though I wanted to meet her and just say hi, perhaps get talking again. Sadly when I reached there she had already left. Pity..
I guess theres some things that you just can't pen down. I don't know how to. Surely its not me wishin to get back together, its way past that stage already. Its...more of wishing that we can talk again and not avoid each other. Its the least I hope from someone I once cared for so much. Though if she still doesn't want that, I guess there can't be anything that I can do to help. Forcing it would only worsen matters.
Guess its a one-sided thing.
learning through life's potholes
Its 2 weeks since I started work..and strangely enough I feel quite settled already. Even though I'm being isolated from the other temps who are working in frontend, I'm having quite a fun time with the staff in my own department. They seem nice and friendly enough, as compared to those in my friends' department. Maybe its the culture instilled by the supervisor *gasp - mollifying!*, or its just that the people here are plain nice, but I suppose being separated from the flock is pretty much a blessing in disguise.
So far so good I guess..although the starting off took many huge leaps of faith and bravery. I was really very scared of making calls and asking for payment, especially at others' inconvenience. But now I'm pretty much hoping for calls, for contacts on the phone so I can increase my productivity. I suppose its the competitive nature of my workplace, where daily efficiency is monitored and broadcast to everybody in the CCMU department, which makes me want to be as good as the permstaff in my work, even though I'm just temping and have no quota whatsoever. Its something to prove to myself, and that's important enough. After Eric showed me the charts I somehow was motivated, or maybe scared into working even harder, pushing customers even harsher for payments. I just hope I don't go overboard, or incur the wrath of anybody along my line of work..
Furthermore, I have my own desk and comm, as compared to the others who flutter around for tables. I have pretty colleagues left right centre, helpful and talkative at that, so its an added bonus! :P Hehe..but if you're thinking what I know you are thinking, it's not...i'm just glad I'm not in frontend with sulky isolated permstaff working their heads off everyday! At least when I'm bored I can turn around and talk to the people in my vicinity, rant about army or converse about uni!
I wonder how I would be feeling about work 2 months down the road though..
learning through life's potholes
I admit, I don't really explode in public. Further more in front of strangers. Maybe to individuals in question, but never have I had so much pent-up anger at the world in general that I exploboomed on the bus back in Malaysia. On retrospect, I wasn't the only one pissed after all...
Was dragged to Malaysia on the yearly holy pilgrimmage to Batu Pahat last sunday, and it was quite boring - consecutive road trips lasting 3hrs plus to spend 15minutes praying at a temple in some obscure location. Nonetheless, I suppose its agnostic of me to pray all the same for good luck and fortune for the better year, and I do have to give thanks to the supreme beings up above for a relatively peaceful year of 2006, so I tagged along for the ride.
So I spent the previous night syncing more MP3s into my sis's player, and thankfully I did that. Within the very first 10minutes of boarding the bus at an inhuman hour of 5:30 am, I had the worst gut feeling I ever had for a very long time. I badly needed sleep: work was due the next morning and I lacked rest from the previous night. As I attempted a little shut-eye, the irritating midget of an auntie sitting behind me burst out in blaring dialogue to her "oh-long-lost friend" beside her, albeit like she was airing her views to the entire bus, inclusive of the Malay driver at the wheel.
Normally on bus tours, after clearing customs and having breakfast, we would have an hour or two before our next destination, and thus the tour guide would kindly allow us to rest due to the early waking hour. But NOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo this #$%^&* tourguide who calls herself "rose" just has to BLAST her karaoke VCDs early in the morning at 830am! Furthermore, its Hokkien oldies! Omgwtfbbq...such vcds should be outlawed and banned from all existence..the disturbing falsettos and painfully long wobbles of the abovementioned songs never ceased to drown out my poor Nomad Zen's maximum volume of 30. Apparently Creative's met its match in Audiophilogy...or it needs to up its max volume much, much more.
So after a heavily stressful trip of trying to sleep on a bus full of aunties blabbing about on max volume and a hokkien karaoke vcd to boot, we arrived at our destinations, completed our objectives, and went forth for lunch. An uneventful lunch, but a really good shopping trip. My total cost was 102 S$, but i uncovered 2 jeans and 3 tops..yay! Now I got my uni clothings at cheap prices!
However, later on the tour guide suddenly had the miraculous idea of actually SINGING to the karaoke songs. Think of the worst situation you can ever think of. Now multiply that by 100. That's only half of what I suffered on the trip back. The singers on the CD were bad enough; having garbling aunties trying to croon and emulate these horrible singers was hell on earth. Furthermore, I couldn't sleep, and I definitely couldn't drown out the cacophony through my MP3s. God save the poor soul stuck on buses with karaoke-mad crones!
Fast forward to 4 hours later. I was tired, angry, and mighty disturbed. Work was looming within the horizon, and I felt fatigued beyond any imagination. The aunties sitted in front were still at it, all 6 of them rotating to sing, and to sing the SAME BLOODY SONG!! The others, aka the rest of the bus, was sick to the point of screaming. I seriously contemplated requesting the bus to stop so that I could walk off into the forest and murder some chimpanzee to destress. I had already tolerated this nonsense up till 8pm past dinner, and I had already done more than any part of being respectful to them crones for not speaking up about their nuisance, but at the assholeretard tourguide's goading and teasing of the younger boys on the bus, I finally snapped.
So I raged, and I spited. I blasted, and I showed an ugly side of me that not many were lucky to see. Furthermore, it was in front of my entire family, extended too. I guess they were pretty surprised, even the younger ones were like..."wow, haogege really damn pro" But not about pro or not. These asshole aunties clearly strode over the line, and damned bloody played silly buggers over my line. Old or not, they deserved being put down for such a fooking disgrace. The tour guide deserves to be put down. Permanently. Which tour guide in the right sense of mind would ask you to step off the bus to eat when EVERY BLOODY PERSON was munching on snacks at some moment in time? So what if there were ants swarming in the front of the bus? If I dropped a crumb now, would it seriously matter? It would only mean that those ants would move to my end at the back, so why the hell? Just get the poor sod sitting at the ant's nest to move to another seat, its not as if there weren't any spare seats left!
Lord, why are people so retarded?
learning through life's potholes