As the minute hand symbolically struck 12, 2008 was ushered in with cheers of jubilation and excitement echoing all around the neighbourhood. In came the expectations of how I must perform yet again this year, about how I want life to be ideally, and the several wishes that I would hold for the year up ahead..
i don't know what i should do, whether this feeling is worth the risk..The thing is, this year will be tremendous in all aspects; life in Club and NUSSU will effectively toughen up throughout all its events, with a few projects coming up my way. This semester has the most painful modules in the form of Quantum Physics and C Programming. There's still the ad-hoc project of Spartan to fulfill, one that tests how well we can get our promises made into reality. Its' yet another test this year..and I don't want it to be another potential year of lost causes, of failed objectives and unrealized promises.
i don't dare to let this happen...not to you too..Its just another year of growing up, I suppose. Sure, everyone's been saying how I've aged or whatnot, but I guess I'm still weaving my way out of the tempest of madness. Prolly I've turned a wrong turn or two along the previous year, but my hopes for this year: to have a smooth ride out of the tornado. China has been a great refresher..and I hope life will smoothen out after this horrible year of losing control of my own life and goals.
why else do i keep on trying to get you attached to others..Sigh, its a long way to go...and the road's gonna be tough this time round. No more naive, crazy hopes this year for me..just down to earth hopes for a relatively peaceful year in sight.
its simply because i can't lose you as a friend..On second thoughts, perhaps a room in Kuok this sem would be nice :)because us tgth now, even as "friends" feels right, alike a fantasy come truethat i don't dare to ask for more, or seek more troublebecause i want to ascertain that this feeling isn't just a fleeting likingbecause u've seen so much of my darkest moments and heard my deepest thoughtsthat i cannot let you see my weakness anymore nor hear this deepest thoughtbut this 2008, it seems, that i'm starting to realize what a fool i've been in 2007..
learning through life's potholes
I'm baack!
Whew, its really been a fun vacation, one that I desperately needed for so long! The previous few trips weren't really as enjoyable and fun as the trip back in P6 to Australia...but this time round, I finally had the "looking forward to the next item on the itinery" feeling, that retarded anticipation of seeing the next waterfall or tasting the next spicy Sichuan dish.
Life's been good up on the mountains :)
Firstly, its truly serene and peaceful. No hustle and bustle of people all around you. Just...alone, you and your thoughts smoothed with the trickling of water down semifrozen waterfalls. Somehow, just glancing down the cliffs with clouds about your ankles made for a therapeutic, amnesic effect that helped so much in recovery. I feel better now, so very much better. :)
As the crystallized trees slowly eroded back into lush greenery down the road from Mt Emei, I've been thinking..perhaps what some people told me's right...to be alone but happy, than to give that happiness away in search and attempt for something better...
why risk it? you're happy the way things are now, why even bother fixing something that isn't broken? if being by yourself, you feel happy and fulfilled doing the things you've wanted to do, why look for someone to burden your life with..and at the same time, to burden their life with?
i suppose, i'd like to enjoy the love of my friends and family more than anything now.
:)
learning through life's potholes
"In life, we need milestones to move on."
Let this be my final milestone.
.
.
.
.
This is my story, and I decide how I want to shape it. I shan't fight it any longer.
This is how I want to end this chapter of my story.
i don't dare to think.
learning through life's potholes
:)
I don't know why, but I just wanted to put that up today. Gleefully, internally, spiritually happy, even though I know, deep inside, I'm going to fail Physics badly.
But, let me live in this moment a while more, ya? Just me, and my guitar today, going through the songs I've used to play once more..
i'm happy :)
learning through life's potholes